Black-and-White, or Gray?

The first time I sat down for a conversation with my new colleague, his first words were, “I’m a black-and-white sort of person.” His reputation for stirring things up had preceded him, and my immediate thought was, “That explains it.”

He and I enjoyed a trusting collegial relationship as we worked together, and I still hold our friendship dear. He is intelligent and knowledgeable (and opinionated) about a wide variety of topics, he is deeply compassionate and deeply spiritual and can be very charming. But his “black-and-white” approach to life continues to be counterproductive in both his relationships and his vocational pursuit.

In my observation, a black-and-white approach has a counterproductive impact on virtually every part of life. It lends itself, almost de facto, to adversarial confrontations, and is never—ever—an effective vehicle for negotiation or collaboration or effective problem-solving; indeed, it more likely will create conflict than resolve it.

Black-and-white people are perceived (correctly, all too often) as arrogant and obstinate, and often project an attitude of intolerance. They aim more frequently at persuading others than seeking to understand them. And, whether accurate or inaccurate, they are heard to say, “I’m right; therefore anybody who disagrees with me is wrong. Period.”

The “right” must prevail; and since I’m right, I must prevail. It’s only a short hop from that pronouncement to an “ends-justify-the-ends” ethic. But, in truth, the noblest cause, if achieved ignobly, is tainted, and thus ignoble.

Given the tirade above, it probably won’t shock you to know that I consider myself a both/and person. I live in the gray. My black-and-white friends (I truly am not aware of any enemies), consider me weak, malleable and even naïve. Compromise is a dirty word to them. But I find it a strength to be able to listen to both sides of any issue, to consider them in light of circumstances[1] and sometimes even to take parts of both to create a whole new reality.

My long-time readers may grow tired of reading, “I believe in absolute truth; but, I don’t believe any human or group of humans is capable of perceiving truth absolutely.” Truth is not relative; but my perception of it is, and therefore it is incumbent upon me to keep searching and growing in understanding.

And so, I am brought up short when I realize that Jesus uncompromisingly took sides in a debate that was as old as Judaism. Was Jesus a black-and-white person?

As I’ve outlined in previous blogs, the ancient debate, faithfully recorded and later included as part of Holy Scripture[2], presents contradictory understandings as part of an effort to discern the nature and will of God. Which is it: (1) Is God a warrior/despot, jealous of his conquests and harsh in judgment upon those who stray from his pronouncements and laws, or (2) is God a creator, loving redeemer and merciful sustainer whose concern is the well-being of God’s creation?

There’s a third possible reading: God is both, because the Bible says so. This understanding requires that I jump through one of two hoops: (1) I have to overcome the hang-up that such a reading understands God as schizophrenic, or (2) I have to overcome a hang-up regarding the definition of Grace. If God relates in one way to “those who stray from his pronouncements and laws” and in a different way with “the people who choose to live in relationship with God,” then the divine/human relationship is based on human behavior rather than on God’s Grace, and the whole Christ event is rendered impotent and irrelevant. We are back under the law: obey or die.

We’re under Grace or we’re under the Law. Limited as I am by the clay of which I am made, I cannot conceive of having it both ways. I am fortified in that belief by my Lenten journey, in which I am discovering how Jesus read the Bible. Jesus consistently chose the side of the debate that understands God as loving and restoring, and rejected the alternative of God as vengeful and blood-thirsty. That choice directed all he taught and preached and how he served. And his choice qualified the intent behind his invitation: “Follow me.”

So, here I am, touting my liberal openness, claiming to be a “both/and” kinda’ guy, confronting a black-and-white” choice. It’s what Thomas G. Bandy calls a “bedrock belief.” It is the limit beyond which I can see no other alternatives: Grace or Law. Upon the choice I make I stake my eternal destiny. I choose Grace.

It’s also by choosing Grace that I am free to acknowledge the gray and to live there fearlessly, trusting that my relationship with God and my eternal destiny are based upon God’s Grace, and not upon whether I’m right or wrong about anything.

That’s the way I see it through the flawed glass that is my world view.

Together in the Walk,

Jim

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[1] Which is another quality perceived as weakness to my black-and-white friends. To them, there is no circumstantial consideration. Right is right and wrong is wrong under all circumstances.

[2] At another time it might be well to discuss the role of inspiration and revelation in both the recording and the canonizing of the writings we call Holy.

What's In A Name?

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted the following :

While he and I disagree on almost every element of political ideology, we still are able to maintain a healthy respect and love for one another—I suspect because neither of us takes ourself with ultimate seriousness. 

We’re also cousins, and we realize that our relationship is more important than any issue that may arise between us.

I understand his post. I don’t agree with it, and think it presents half-truths and inaccuracies; but I understand the feelings behind it because I have very similar feelings myself; therefore, I have undertaken to respond in kind:

      WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

I’m UNAMERICAN for not being an “Obama Basher”.

I’m a TRAITOR because I favor accountability for gun ownership.

I’m a LEFTIST for supporting the whole Constitution, and not just that part that undergirds my political ideology.

I’m a NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT (plus, I’m unfriended by 14 Facebook “friends”, and blocked by 6 others) because I speak my mind.

I’m a TROUBLEMAKER for asking unanswered questions.

I’m NAÏVE AND GULLIBLE because I dare accept the documentation of the President.

I’m a COMMUNIST for exposing the corruption in the American corporate world.

I’m A CONSPIRATOR for presenting documented facts (which nobody will accept unless he or she already agrees with them).

I’m ANTI-AMERICAN for not toeing the party line. [Sorry. I’m also a Grammar Nazi, and “towing” means to pull.]

I’m UNAMERICAN because I support the troops but not necessarily the political corruption that puts them in harm’s way.

I’m a SOCIALIST because…

1.      …while I believe I’m entitled to what I earn (which, incidentally, includes Social Security, Medicare and Veterans’ Benefits), I don’t’ believe I have a right to intrude on others’ rights or wellbeing in the process of earning it.

2.     …I believe there are people who legitimately need the safety net of Food Stamps, unemployment and other public assistance programs.

3.     …I believe it’s unjust to remove a public assistance program because some people abuse it. Humans can always find a loophole, and nothing is so pure that it does not have its pornographers.

4.     …I believe in protecting the innocent at all costs, even if in the process some of the guilty “get away with something,” and I don’t believe in punishing all the guilty at all costs IF IN THE PROCESS some of the innocent are harmed.

5.     …I believe the abuse of public assistance programs should be eliminated as much as possible; but without depriving those with legitimate needs from their benefits.

6.     …I believe, related to public assistance programs, that fraud and abuse are relatively small, and that fraud is much heavier at the administrative level than at the receiving level.

7.    … I support labor (but not necessarily unions).

8.    …because I believe human need always trumps political or economic ideology.

Now, the original post ends with an antagonistic, “So what?” I’d like to pursue that “so what?”

1.     So, there are two sides to every issue, and every person deserves to have his or her side heard, understood and respected.  

2.    So, name-calling is a useless exercise that accomplishes nothing good, and accomplishes much harm.

3.    So, until we decide as a society that our ideological log-jam is the greatest immediate threat to our unity and security, we will continue to be a house divided.

4.    So, as long as a substantial population of Americans believes, “I’m totally right about everything and anyone who disagrees with me is totally wrong and is an idiot (or whatever name comes to mind),” we will continue to be a house divided.

And you know what is said by so many, including the Lord of Christianity, about a house divided: “It will not stand.” At this point in history I am much more afraid of our own obstinacy than I am afraid of any outside threat.

There are proven ways of negotiating and collaborating and finding common ground upon which to build. But all of them require that we let go of our absolutism and that we give valid effort to find something good in those with whom we disagree. 

The first step to unity is a question: “What if I’m wrong?”

That’s how I see it through the flawed glass that is my world view.

Together in the Walk,

Jim

Milestones for the Journey (Through 2015)

The Holidays were active at the Robinson’s this last year. Kids and grandkids came and went from Thanksgiving until after New Year’s Day. We treasured every moment, and welcomed every headlight. But we also rejoiced to see the last tail light drive out of sight. In each case, the last thing we said was, “Drive carefully. Have a safe trip.”

A safe trip is good. I want them to stay between the ditches. It’s winter; the holidays. Safety’s an issue. But my friend and colleague, Arnold Nelson, reminded me one year in his newsletter that life is not always about “playing it safe.” It’s skimpy well-wishing to say, “Have a safe trip,” without including, “Have a great time!” “Enjoy the drive!” Wishing for safety isn’t wishing for very much.

Truthfully, I hope none of us try too hard to have too safe a new year. I hope we can try for more than that. Abundant living is found elsewhere.

Over the years I’ve read a lot of motivational books; and last week I re-read the book of Proverbs. Proverbs is as timely as this morning’s headlines.

There are 31 chapters in Proverbs—just right for reading one chapter a day, at least in seven of the twelve months out of the year. Here’s a challenge for you: read a chapter of Proverbs every day this year. Start today. Read Proverbs 7 today, and each day read the chapter whose number is the same as the day.

From various sources and resources over the years I’ve collected eight milestones from Proverbs that can guide our journey into abundant living in 2015.

First: Travel Light (12:25). An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. Excess baggage slows you down. Don’t pack failures, disappointments, worries and resentments from the past. Stop opening old sores and bad memories. Decide to forgive. Travel light.

Second: have a plan, but live one day at a time (6:6-11). Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.

On this journey into the unknown we likely will encounter the unexpected. Have a plan and live responsibly, but ready to improvise on the fly. Be accountable, but welcome every serendipity.

Third: Be Generous (3:27-28). Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.  Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow"-- when you now have it with you. A world reeling with greed, intolerance, bitterness, prejudice, hunger, disease, and cold needs every drop of simple goodness in our veins.

Fourth: Face Your Problems with Faith and Courage, Rather Than Avoiding, Resenting or Fearing Them (4:25-26). “Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.  Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.” Remember: because we are children of God, we are family. We don’t have to bear our burdens or work alone.

Fifth: If You Can’t Change Your Circumstance, Change Your Attitude (15:16-17).  Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil.  Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred. Sometimes we may feel we could do better with life if we could start over, somewhere else. Rather than a new environment, what we need is a new inner life. The Serenity Prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous is helpful here: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Sixth: the Secret of Relaxation Is Essential To Health (17:1). “Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” Stress endangers both mental and physical health. Inner quietness is a vital pathway to abundant living. Resources are abundant. A good place to start is the website, renovare.org.

Seventh: Trust God (3:5). Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding… TRUST. There’s always risk in trusting: a risk of being let down, being disappointed, betrayed. Trust is risky; not safe. Trust anyway.

And Eighth: “Go For It! Go for The Abundant Life” Even If It Involves Some Risks (14:4). “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean; but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.”  I remember a poster with a picture of a beautiful tall sailing ship in rough seas, under full sail. The caption said, “A ship in harbor is safe; but that’s not what a ship is for.”

Don’t adopt the philosophy of life that says, “You can’t fall out of bed if you sleep on the floor.” I don’t advocate reckless or irresponsible risk-taking; but always playing it safe will take the “abundant” out of “Abundant life”

Safe is good; but it’s far shy of joyous or blessed or merry!

Attributed variously to at least three different writers, there’s a quote I like so much that I’ve put it in my Facebook profile: “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow! What a ride!’”

That’s how I see it through the flawed glass that is my world view.

Together in the Walk,

Jim