Seven Biblical Principles of Unity #7

The Blessedness of Unity

Psalm 133:1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers and sisters live together in unity!

Unfortunately, churches all around the world experience brokenness. Christians are divided over things as petty as the style and time of worship services. We have said that unity is crucial, because it is the Secret of God’s Will. Nothing is more important to God than the unity of Christ’s Body. Unity also is crucial to any organization for the achieving its purpose. So how is it possible to live in unity when disagreements arise?

Most of my readers know that I am an ordained minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). Our founders, Thomas and Alexander Campbell, were fond of quoting St. Augustine: “In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things love.”

So, what is essential, and what is non-essential? That’s the question about which Christians have been unable to agree since the day the Church was born.

Some say evangelism is the most essential element in the Christian community. Others suggest that following Jesus in meeting human needs must take priority. Some insist that one’s ultimate relationship with God comes only by way of a specifically worded affirmation of faith, while others contend that we are known by our fruits.

Some put forward issues such as abortion and gay rights as “deal breakers” and still others counter with their focus on grace and forgiveness and being non-judgmental. And all of the above use and abuse scripture to rationalize their positions.

In a perfect world, we would sit down together and prayerfully and lovingly collaborate to discern God’s will in a given situation. Sometimes we just have to reach a consensus and walk by faith—test out the consensus to see if it edifies or tears down.

But, it isn’t a perfect world; nor are we perfect creatures. As long as there is freedom of thought, there will be differences of opinion; and as long as we humans are incomplete (a fundamental definition of sin), we will not always be able to discern the difference between “opinion” and the “truth.” We can’t even agree on the understandings of specific verses of scripture.

The fundamental beliefs of the faith, those tenets generally shared by virtually every Christian, are not negotiable. But if the dispute has to do with a nonessential issue—even certain interpretations of doctrine, (i.e., free will versus predestination)—some prayerful discussion in love is acceptable, but believers should not let it cause division. In such cases, a consensus is likely to leave some people disappointed with the results. Yet both sides should be willing to accept differences without strife. Sometimes the old adage is valid: we just have to agree to disagree—and continue in love.

In a democratic organization in which votes are taken, there usually will be winners and losers. Sadly, win/lose resolutions virtually always divide, rather than unite. But when Christians are united on the basis of our common need of God’s grace; that is, when we can understand that none of us is capable of understanding God’s absolute truth absolutely, then there is the possibility of unity, even when “the other side wins” on a particular issue.

We all love democracy until “our side” loses. But if we are to remain a democratic body, and if we are to choose unity over division, then we all are required to be prepared occasionally to accept defeat graciously, and move on. A broken, divided church is Christ’s worst enemy, and the devil’s greatest friend. Two generations of North Americans are leaving the church (or never getting involved), and the number one reason given is the divisiveness and judgmentalism they see in the church.

It also is good strategy in many cases, once an issue is resolved, to agree to revisit it from time-to-time, preferably on a planned schedule (e.g., once a year). Issues can be re-evaluated, and sometimes new information can influence the outcome. Although in many cases what really divides us is personal pride and unresolved control needs, rather than the truth, it is possible under some circumstances that humans actually can change a position when convincing new data is provided.

But in some cases there simply will be nothing we can do in our human strength to mend our differences. If we selfishly (and often irrationally) cling to the belief that we cannot be wrong and that our preferences are better than others’ opinions, division will be unavoidable.

I've done conflict resolution consultations between departments of corporations, in school settings and even in city government; but, whether the conflict is between marriage partners, parent and child or in some larger corporate setting, I always begin with two questions: (1) Do you want to resolve the issue between you, or do you just want to win the fight? (2) Which is more important, this issue or the effective continuation of the relationship? I truly believe that any conflict can be resolved to the benefit of all parties. Obstinate pride is the only impenetrable barrier to unity. 

At the infamous “bottom line,” after prayerfully giving our best effort toward agreement, sometimes we just have to settle instead for understanding, and graciously accept the will of the majority, even when we disagree. While no single issue should ever take precedence over the unity of the Body of Christ, when the disagreements begin to outnumber the agreements, it may be time to lovingly part company. But in the Body of Christ, it is never--EVER--acceptable to fight.

I'm not suggesting that we surrender our convictions; indeed, I already have suggested that resolved issues should be reexamined from time-to-time. Such reevaluation should always include new data and new perspectives, and should never be simply the resumption of beating the proverbial dead horse.

Limited as we are by the clay of which we are made, I may be wrong! In deference to that possibility, once we have presented our case and born witness to our deepest convictions, if we then acknowledge our own fallibility, and if we voluntarily and humbly subordinate our own need to "win the fight" for the greater good of a unified church, we please God. 

And pleasing God gives greater joy than getting our way.

That’s the way I see it through the flawed glass that is my world view.

Together in the Walk,

Jim

Seven Biblical Principles of Unity--#2

The Tools of Unity: Words that Build Up and Give Grace

Ephesians 4:29 (RSV): Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is useful for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.

“Evil talk” is the RSV translation. The NIV says “unwholesome talk;” the NLT says “abusive language;” and other versions say “corrupting talk,” “foul language,” “filthy talk,” “hateful words” – basically useless talk that is harmful in some way.

One obvious application of this verse is Gossip—idle talk or rumor, especially about the private affairs of others. Gossip often implies the spreading of dirt and misinformation (especially if scandal is involved).

A second, less obvious application is Opinion. Wikipedia, the online Dictionary, says, ”In general, an opinion is a judgment, viewpoint, or statement about matters commonly considered to be subjective, i.e. based on that which is less than absolutely certain, and is the result of emotion or interpretation of facts. What distinguishes fact from opinion is that facts are verifiable, i.e. can be objectively proven to have occurred.”

We love our opinions! And we all have a right to our opinions; but none of us is obligated to share them. By Definition, “opinion” is an unproven idea. We cling to our “opinions”; we treasure them and defend them; but, opinion doesn’t necessarily serve truth, and by practical observation, “opinions” have very little intrinsic value. In fact, all too often, opinions are divisive.

We have become a script culture: “Talk is cheap.” “If you really mean something, write it down.” Will Rogers said, “The only thing I know is what I read in the newspaper.” (I wonder what he’d say about today’s “news” media, much of which carries more opinion and commentary than the simple reporting of news.)

And in our script culture we devalue verbalization: “Show me a picture.” “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one, any day.”

But if you think words aren’t important, spend an hour with a middle school child who’s been called names at school. “Sticks and stones may break my bones; but words will never hurt me.” That’s a lie.

Words are important. Words can build up or tear down. Jesus said, “…by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37 NIV).

Let’s review the text again: “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.”

In this verse I find four litmus tests by which we can judge the use of our own words—four ways to help “the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable to (God), our strength and our redeemer” (Psalm 19:14 KJV).

(1) Is it useful? One of my primary social incompetencies is that I don’t like small talk. I’m not good at it. No, I’m not suggesting that every conversation should have some deep significance. There’s value in chatting with a friend over lunch. It has a purpose: it shares information of mutual interest, it is a part of living within a relationship.

But the writer of Ephesians qualifies the usefulness of our words: are they “useful for edifying?” (2) Do our words Build Up? Do they make things better?

Once again, I’m not calling for sugar-coating every conversation or avoiding controversy and disagreement. There are valid times for constructive criticism. Constructive. And whether a criticism is received as constructive probably has more to do with how it’s presented than with what is said. Does it build up?

And there are valid times for debate. Disagreement is not, in itself, a bad thing; but in the midst of disagreement, words that are useful for building up are aimed at working together to discover a resolution that meets everybody’s needs (not necessarily everybody’s preferences). Words used to “win the fight” will never build up. Does it build up?

And the writer of Ephesians continues in his cumulative construction: (3) do our words “fit the occasion?"  The Amplified New Testament puts it, "as is fitting to the need and the occasion..." The New American Standard Bible says, "according to the need of the moment..." In other words, is what we are about to say necessary? Will it benefit the situation?

Which brings me back to “opinion.” Yes, we have a right to hold and to share our opinion; but is there a need for it? Will it be useful? Will it build up? Whatever our intentions may be in any situation, the words we choose will have one of three effects:

They may be effective (sometimes the most effective way to respond is simply not to respond. Let it go.) Will it be useful for building up as there is need?

They may be Ineffective. Will our words prolong the need?

They may be Counterproductive. Will our words make things worse?

The text has one final litmus: Will our words (4) give grace to those who hear? 17^th century poet, François Fénelon, wrote, "Learn to imitate Him who reproves gently..."

Grace is more than passive refusal to condemn. Grace doesn’t let someone “get away with something.” That’s not grace; it’s permissiveness.

In permissiveness, something is overlooked; in grace, something is overcome—something is transformed. Grace occurs in spite of separation and estrangement. Henry David Thoreau said most men live lives of “quiet desperation.” Grace transforms quiet desperation into bold determination, fate into meaningful destiny, guilt into confidence and courage. There’s something triumphant in the word, Grace.

And our text calls us to let our words be “useful for edifying, as fits the occasion, so that (our) words may give grace to those who hear.”

While I haven’t been active for a few years, I have been strengthened by my association with Rotary International. Rotarians are guided by what we call a “Four-Way Test" of the things we think, say or do. It’s an ethical code for personal and business relationships. 

1. Is it the truth?

2. Is it fair to all concerned?

3. Will it build goodwill and better friendships?

4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned? 

In the work and fellowship of Rotary we attempt to sift what we do and say through the sieve of these four questions and, if the answer to any of the four is "No," then it probably doesn't need to be said. I see a connection between the “Four Way Test” and this verse from Ephesians. And in the three local Rotary clubs in which I have participated I have experienced more unity than in most of the churches I served over the past fifty years.

When faithfully used, these tools of unity are quite effective.

And that’s how I see it through the flawed glass that is my world view.

Together in the Walk,

Jim